I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
