i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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