yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
