Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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