Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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