Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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