she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
