Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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