Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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