yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
this is an emotional support booty call
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
