Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Two words: blizzard sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
