How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
