How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
