I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
