But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
