So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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