I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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