Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
