Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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