$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
