come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
