lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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