I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
