DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
