I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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