gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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