whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Man, jail baloney is awful.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
