Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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