69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
