uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
