I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
