That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i came on her dog
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He has the fingertips of a God
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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