I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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