Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
