You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just high enough for therapy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
