in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just want to make out with him forever
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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