Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
