community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
