I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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