Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
