I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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