How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
