Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you guys were way drunker than both of me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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