hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
