Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
