You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
