Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
