So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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