Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
