Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
