no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize