Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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