i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize