i think my mom watched the whole time
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize