one might say we're banned from that church
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
