I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
