Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
God, I missed his penis.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
