Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
