i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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