Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
