I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
