she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i now understand why vodka
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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